Dear friend of my heart,
who wanders listlessly in the deserted streets of wakeful nights, searching for someone who would sing verses of the deep mystery with you, I wish I could tell you that I do understand. I know what it feels like to wander in search of something that does not yet have a name. I know what it means to see something that no one else sees.
Wandering in search of the perfect notebook to inscribe the prophesies whispered into my ears by grandfather night. Waiting in a very special anguish for the angels, and muses, and fairies of old, to tell me the stories they have a million times told. Looking at the world and seeing things move in repeating patterns spiraling towards a future that has already been writ and read out to you in visions that consume your sleep, pretending to be dreams.
Have you heard of the man who lives alone, in a house upon a hill? It has been years since he has told his stories. When I was a child he would weave the most wonderful tales and tie our destinies to those of his characters. We listened because we were enchanted. We returned because like Scheherazade he kept us in mystery as if his life depended on it. As time passed his eyes grew distant. There was talk of a child having lost herself in them and we were warned to never look into them again. I wanted to hear his stories especially the one he was in the middle of telling. My fate was tied to that of the frail boy who was high in the mountains looking for something. The storyteller was going to tell what it was that the boy was in search of, braving storms and dangers of deep forests, but it never came to that. The story remained untold and I have been looking for it ever since. Hoping to find it and bring the telling to its rightful end.
So I know of wandering, dear friend. I know of feeling lost and of times when no one seems to understand. I have to bring the story to its rightful end, however long it takes. No one else sees what I see. So I have to keep my search going… and what was it that Tolkien said… not all those who wander are lost…