Lost

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I am a lost soldier… Where are my comrades? Are they all down? Where is the enemy?
I am a lost soldier. Sometimes I feel like it is not all that difficult to break my spirit… It is easy… all it would take is one bullet whizzing past my ears…
Sometimes I feel weak and pathetic. Only sometimes… Only that these sometimes are sometimes too frequent…
When I stand confronting the majesty of heavenly motions, I am humbled… But when it is the majesty of a man… it is not a good feeling…
Perhaps I wish to be majestic… but I feel that intentions assume the shape of feelings… wishes assume the shape of feelings… the depth of a feeling makes it sacred…
Sometimes when I am confronting brilliance that is not mine, I think I am fine… but sometimes a man wonders… what would it have been like… language of the besieged, Ha! What could it have been like… woulds and coulds of having lost the war… but there is no end. What feels like a loss is but another scar to cherish and adorn.
I feel like there is more that awaits me… I feel like things are going to take interesting turns… I know it to be right… I… I… I… I… I… I… I… I… ha.. I… I am… I was… I shall be… I … I… ha… is it not pathetic… is is not amazing…

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  1. Interesting turns….those are my favorite kind! 😉

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