What is this feeling?

What is this feeling? What makes me wonder about it? Could it be the same feeling that they would talk about, whenever we went away from noise? They would talk, as we drove deeper into thinning impressions of the city’s presence… as the night became increasingly nightly. The further we drove away, the more it felt like that the night was being allowed her heart’s desires. She could be seen bathing carelessly in the soft touch of moonlight. Noises would leave their voices alone. Slowly, their voices would follow those noises into the quiet recess of insignificance. I’d smile as night prevailed. I’d smile at her, as she seeped into the car and inside us with our loosening breaths. And then we were all sad. It was such a relief. I could feel us all relishing this sadness with great pleasure. My heart would confess about the weight it had been secretly carrying. It was beautiful to be weighed down, without having to stand tall in denial. It was like massage… only prettier. I’d look at their faces expecting their tears to smile at mine. Their tears did smile at mine. And after that… gravity would disappear… like it had never been. Then they would start talking again. This time without too many words. They would talk about a feeling. What was this feeling? What makes me wonder about it?